The thing I'm hearing about the most lately is dating apps. So many people are using them because the pandemic has stopped general socializing. I hear about how horrible the apps are with so many people who just stop responding, the dates they go on are awful or that all they get are scammers. Here are some suggestions:
1. When you match with someone, have something ready to start a conversation. Just like you wouldn't go up to a stranger and just say HI and stare at them waiting for them to ask you questions, don't expect the other person to carry the conversation. Conversation starters could be about an activity described in their profile that sparked something for you, or even just what attracted you in their picture. Be specific. "I liked the sparkle in your eyes." or "You seem to really like adventure activities, what was your latest one?" or even just, "Man, this coronavirus stuff is really putting a damper on my social life, want to go do something fun in an appropriately socially distanced way?"
2. Moderate your expectations. You may not hit it off right away. I have spoken with many people who believe they will "just know" when they have met their person. Sometimes a connection takes a bit to develop. Give it a chance to develop. Also remember that you shouldn't be thinking about marriage from the first meeting.
3. Scammers are prevalent in all the dating apps. Ask for in person meetings in a public place. Don't give anyone money. Be wary if someone says they are in love with you quickly.
I'll have another post about dating apps in the future, so be on the look-out!
What questions or problems would you want to learn about? What have you seen others struggle with or what have you struggled with? Is there something you have always wanted to know but didn't know who to ask?
Feel free to leave your questions in the comments. It may just end up as a blog post! If you are interested in having me give you feedback on your dating struggles and are willing to have it be a blog post, go to the contact page and send me a message.
I have been thinking about doing this for a long time. I hear so many stories of people who struggle with dating. Many people aren't sure what to do and therefore listen to well-intentioned people that create more problems. I have also seen how many problems that married couples deal with started when they were dating. I hope that I can bring solid principles and guidance to those who are seeking quality information from someone in the trenches.
As a general disclaimer: while I am a therapist, information from this website does not constitute advice for your specific situation. Nor does it mean that we have any therapeutic relationship. If you have questions or concerns about this, please feel free to reach out through the contact page.
Jen has many years of working with singles after receiving training as an MFT and seeing that many married couples problems start while they are dating. She wants to change marriage by helping singles date better so they marry better.