The thing I'm hearing about the most lately is dating apps. So many people are using them because the pandemic has stopped general socializing. I hear about how horrible the apps are with so many people who just stop responding, the dates they go on are awful or that all they get are scammers. Here are some suggestions:
1. When you match with someone, have something ready to start a conversation. Just like you wouldn't go up to a stranger and just say HI and stare at them waiting for them to ask you questions, don't expect the other person to carry the conversation. Conversation starters could be about an activity described in their profile that sparked something for you, or even just what attracted you in their picture. Be specific. "I liked the sparkle in your eyes." or "You seem to really like adventure activities, what was your latest one?" or even just, "Man, this coronavirus stuff is really putting a damper on my social life, want to go do something fun in an appropriately socially distanced way?"
2. Moderate your expectations. You may not hit it off right away. I have spoken with many people who believe they will "just know" when they have met their person. Sometimes a connection takes a bit to develop. Give it a chance to develop. Also remember that you shouldn't be thinking about marriage from the first meeting.
3. Scammers are prevalent in all the dating apps. Ask for in person meetings in a public place. Don't give anyone money. Be wary if someone says they are in love with you quickly.
I'll have another post about dating apps in the future, so be on the look-out!
5/30/2020 08:57:54 am
These are great insights! With apps it’s hard to find a balance between meeting too soon and just becoming pen pals. Some people might be more comfortable having a phone/skype/FaceTime date before meeting in person. Always be safe and meet in public first! And follow your instincts. If something feels off, you don’t have to go! I used to feel like maybe everyone deserves a first date. Not so. You don’t owe anyone a first date. If you feel safe and think maybe a connection could develop, you might owe it to yourself to give it a try. But that’s it.
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Jen has many years of working with singles after receiving training as an MFT and seeing that many married couples problems start while they are dating. She wants to change marriage by helping singles date better so they marry better.